Let's play along for a minute here and pretend everything we hear from the New York Post and Rudy Giuliani about Vice President Biden and his son Hunter is 100 percent truthful, and no overt Russian interference, made by a maddened one Grifter and his desires seized becomes enabler. Just for the sake of reasoning.
Hunter Biden, a California resident, jumped back to Delaware on a plane so he could get drunk and drop off a wet laptop at a Wilmington repair shop. After that, he promptly forgot everything about the device, which was full of incriminating emails and videos. Sure, Jan.
The shopkeeper, who is legally blind and finds that the laptop has a Beau Biden Foundation sticker on it, decided to do a better job of examining the contents of the hard drive. It was around this time that he discovered incriminating emails from a Ukrainian businessman from the infamous natural gas company Burisma thanking Hunter Biden for meeting his father, and perhaps videos of Hunter Biden having sex and smoking crack. You bet!
“Fearing for his life,” the shopkeeper contacted Rudy Giuliani, the cyber guru who accidentally posted a video making racist jokes last week, and Steve Bannon, who was recently charged with charity fraud. Then Rudy and his famous comrade Robert Costello, who last tried to undermine Michael Cohen's collaboration agreement with Garth Brooks' texts, "authenticated" the hard drive "- although they did not say how and they do not allow anyone to examine it."
“Bob checked everything and made sure the document was authentic. Then he … authenticated the hard drive with a series of different tests that he ran, "Giuliani told Fox's Mark Levin. “And then he got a copy of it from the Lord. And then he started cataloging it. And then he pointed it out to me. “Just hug the crazy people.
The FBI has had this computer since 2019 and there have been no arrests – or even revelations of inappropriateness by the Vice President or his son, which would certainly have helped Donald Trump's impeachment case. However, upon closer inspection, there appears to be child pornography on Hunter Biden's hard drive, which confirms the insane Q-anon theory that Democrats are a cabal of satanic pedophiles. (Incidentally, planting illegal images on his enemies' computers is a common Russian FSB tactic.)
On Fox Business, Senator Ron Johnson warned gloomily this morning that the FBI agent who signed the alleged subpoena is working on child pornography cases (or he was already doing so in 2012). So the obvious conclusion is that the FBI is on Hunter Biden's trail for kids on the trail of porn. Maria Bartiromo frowned in concern. Let's all be like Maria Bartiromo!
Then Giuliani's pal Chanel Rion of One America News Network assured us that something dirty was about to fall.
I just took a behind-the-scenes look at the # HunterBiden drive:
Drugs, underage obsessions, power agreements …
Druggie Hunter makes Anthony Weiner's down-under selfie addiction look normal. # BidenCrimeFamily has to apologize a lot.
Big tech too. @OANN
– Chanel Rion OAN (@ChanelRion) October 15, 2020
While Trump's ally Wayne Allyn Root tweeted, "My sources – as high as they can – were watching videos on Jäger's laptops TODAY. I just made it very clear … not a rumor … they saw Hunter small raped and tortured Chinese children. "And if you can't trust a Wingnut talk show host, who can you trust?
Meanwhile, Fox himself passed this story on (oh, hey, this is Bartiromo's store!) For not meeting the standards of the network that relentlessly whipped the Seth Rich conspiracy. And the play's writer at the New York Post refused to put his byline on it because of obvious credibility issues.
But let's just accept all of this as gospel truth for now.
We only have one question.
What the hell was Rudy Giuliani doing with child pornography? The mere possession of sexually exploitative pictures of children is a crime, and the law obliges anyone who accidentally comes across child pornography to immediately alert law enforcement. Yet the former mayor and federal attorney claims he has had a copy of Biden's hard drive for weeks, long enough to buy the story from Fox and the NY Post.
"I sleep with it at night," he told The Daily Beast.
When should he get rid of this contraband? When would Steve Bannon and Robert Costello meet their legal obligation to report this crime? Is the blind computer repair man hired to distribute child pornography because he made multiple copies of Hunter Biden's hard drive and passed them on to third parties?
Let's take a wild shot in the dark that no one reported got into child pornography for because it didn't exist. There was no child porn and probably no laptop.
There is only one steaming pile of shit and no one should swallow any of it.
Elizabeth Dye lives in Baltimore, where she writes on law and politics.